Distortion [Matou Sakura]

She doesn't want that. She really doesn't want that.
She always thought he should be with someone else, someone better suited to him, but she can no longer accept that.

Because…
He is already hers.

…That's why it's frightening.
She's scared of what she might do.

"…Ughuh, kuh"
She knows, yet there's no salvation.
She cannot tell him of this disfunction.
If she tells him, it will be back to the cold for her.
She cannot return to the cold now that she has known warmth.
She wants to…
Keep smiling at him.

But she knows what will be lost if this continues.
Her wish is just a desire.
She wishes for one person's happiness, yet her happiness requires the ruin of that same person.

If she cannot do so, she should just break down and disappear.
If she's going to go crazy, she should disappear now and become a monster in a place with no people.
That should be the best choice.

But she still clings to it.
She wishes for more because it's warm and happy here.
So why?
Why is such a normal desire forbidden to her?

"NoNo, no, no, no…!"
She shakes off her weakness.
She's not envious.
She's not holding any grudges.
She justifies her decision, saying that she merely wants to stay here.

"Ughuhh, ugh"
…Her hazy mind is already experiencing another nightmare.
Forcing down her wish to be saved, she keeps on crying.

________________________________________________________

"HaHaha, hahahahahahahahahaha!
Come on, spread your legs like you always do, bitch…!
You wouldn't even care if a dog fucked you, right!? All you can do is accept a man…!"
Asserting his dominance, he starts to violate her like he always does.
The girl stares up him with empty eyes.
"I wish he wouldn't exist."
Eleven years.
She thinks something she has never thought during that time.

""
The air makes a sound.
The man on top of her falls down.
Fresh blood splatters onto her.
The girl raises her body and looks at her silent brother.

"Oh."
It was an instant death.
He must have been hit with a very sharp string.
A line is visible on the back of his head, as if it was drawn in with a pencil.
The line reaches his brain, but the line is too thin to make his brain spill out, and his blood is the only thing flowing out.

"Oh."
She looks down at it without emotion.
The shadow that killed her brother wavers.
It wavers in the gray sunlight.
Her own shadow…
Her own shadow is standing up and wavering.

"Ah."
So she's the one that killed.
It was she who killed her brother.
She understands, but does not feel anything.
She feels nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No disgust, no fear, no guilt, no regret.
The only thought in her vacant mind is that it was easy.

She saw it in her dream so did she copy what she saw?

"Ah, ha."
She doesn't know.
But she thinks she should've done it sooner.
If she'd known she wouldn't feel anything, she would've done it a long time ago.
She thinks, and…
"FuFufu."
…Her empty emotion murmurs that it was fun.

Where?
When?
What?

Dream.
Dream.
That's right. She wasn't dreaming.
Those dreams were
Not dreams.
The one that wandered through the night and killed the men was herself.
Yes, she killed many people.
She killed many, many people.
KILLED those that ran away KILLED without leaving a drop KILLED everyone KILLED with pleasure KILLED laughing KILLED laughing KILLED laughing…!!

"Haha! Ahaha, hahahahahahahaha!"
It's so funny that her stomach hurts.
It's as if she's regressing mentally every time she laughs.
But it's so comforting and natural.
Oh, how stupid, how stupid, how foolish…!

"FuFufu, ah."
Her face is contorted in a manic grin.
In place of her silent brother, the girl sweetly spills out a voice like glass.

…And like that.
After tinkering with her brother's body like she's playing house, she gets up.
She stands in front of the mirror, still covered in blood.
Behind her stands the shadow that killed so many.

Her own shadow.
The black shadow that has eaten countless people.
Someone was there, trying hard not to turn her into it.
Someone was there by her side.
She laughs.
There was never any hope for her.

"I see. I was slowly going crazy."

She twirls in front of the mirror.
The girl makes a proud smile.
"Look, Senpai. I was crazy from the beginning."
And speaks as if asking for a dance.